College Life · Relationships · Social Life · Transitions

Day 95 – Finding Home

“You’ll feel so homesick that you’ll want to die, and there’s nothing you can do about it apart from endure it. But you will, and it won’t kill you. And one day the sun will come out – you might not even notice straight away, it’ll be that faint. And then you’ll catch yourself thinking about something or someone who has no connection with the past. Someone who’s only yours. And you’ll realize… that this is where your life is.”
– Brooklyn (The movie)

Anyone who has moved understands what is being said in the quote above.

They understand the pain of feeling like a part of themselves died. The pain of feeling as though your heart will never stop hurting, the tears never stop flowing… but they also know the day that sunshine comes and they realize, “this is where [their] life is.”

I still remember the day I realized this is where my life was. I was sitting in my back yard attempting to get some sunshine and stop crying …and it struck me. Suddenly out of no where I could see the beauty in the golden fields, instead of wishing they were a rainforest. I could feel the comfort of crisp weather, instead of wishing for the blanket of warm weather that my heart was accustomed to. In that moment my pain of missing my family and friends was overwhelmed with the realization that it would be okay. The people here could be my friends too.

I wish I could say that day was the last one that ever held the pain of homesickness, but it wasn’t. There have been more, many more, but that day was when I finally felt content with where I was in life and realized that while this place is not like those I had previously known as home, it could find it’s own place in my heart.  My friends here are not like the ones I left, but they are just as dear to my heart. The food here may be different, but it’s flavors can be just as heart warming, if I let them.

I hope you all see more sunshine than homesickness and days when it feels like the tears will never stop.

I hope you allow yourself to fully grieve the pain of leaving to be able to fully embrace your new life, without forgetting the old.

Here’s to finding “home” in every season of life and cherishing each season for what it is.

Day 95

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